Besufikad - 1 of 2

So the 6 month mark is fast approaching... June 5th will be 6 months since the boys arrived home. If you've read my blog at all you know that the first few months were a bit difficult. In any adoption, especially an older child adoption, that is to be expected. What is not to be expected is the fact that things are going so well now!

This handsome young man is Besu. He gave us a run for our parental money everyday for months. But, God in His goodness, has healed much of the pain my poor son was feeling & trying desperately to cope with. Now at 5 months home Besu is truly happy. Each day is another incredible milestone. New relationships with siblings are being forged, language is coming fast and furious, peace is reigning in my little mans soul!

No matter how they get to you, whether by birth, foster or adoption, children are the greatest gift ever. Sadly, our 2 new sons were not the last boys available. There are still millions more orphaned children all over the world praying for homes and families... so just think about it, pray hard about it, fast even, because maybe you too are being called to add to your family? In order to encourage you to think seriously about bringing a boy like Besu into your family I want to share a few things about my precious boy.

*Besufikad's name means "with His permission". Without divulging too much I will share that I was told this name was picked for him because he was very unexpected and his mother was encouraged from all sides to abort him. I was told that she believed God had an incredible plan for Besu's life. She felt that if God gave him to her she was to give life to him and allow him to live to his potential. I wish I could thank her for her unselfish gift to us and truly, to the world. Besu does have a plan, one that only he can fill. Now it is our job to help him fulfill that plan.

*Besu loves to eat. My boy eats now like there is no tomorrow. Maybe because there were so many yesterdays when he went hungry? Besu actually hums as he eats. He doesn't even know that he is doing it and it is one of those things that make my heart melt! When people are around him eating for the first time they often ask if I hear something. Yep, I hear it. I have decided that it is the sound of real contentment!

*Besu is an incredible soccer player. Having never even worn cleats or shin guards before arriving home, he is still head and shoulders above most of the kids in his 10and under league. You should see this boy play! It is amazing!

*Besu got to go into the pool for the first time this weekend. We slipped some floaties on him and off he went! He was doing flips off the diving board by the end of the day! He loves to try anything new so swimming for him was fantastic. He has also tried skateboarding, street hockey, basketball, baseball & volleyball. He is good at most everything he tries! God love em, our bio kids and Marin don't have much of an athletic bone between all 6 but this little one and his brother Fitsum are just wonderful athletes!

*Besu does not like having his hair cut. We did it last week for the first time and my boy was not happy! The man who did it was so sweet. He tried to be gentle as he picked all of Besu's hair out in order to shave it down to about 1/2 of where it was. Ouch. Picking all those coarse curls out into an afro that rivaled a young Michael Jackson looked awful painful! In the end though, it looks great and he is thrilled with the attention his haircut has been getting him!

*Besu loves his mommy. I am his rock right now whether he is having a good day or a bad day, I am the one that grounds him. (And yes, I totally relish it!) Besu loves physical affection. He loves me to hold his hand, to rub his back, his hair, his arms, he loves it all. His favorite time seems to be sitting next to me at church when things are quiet and calm and he can snuggle in the crook of my arm with no one able to steal me away! He likes to smell the perfume on my arms, he likes to play with my hair. He just loves me and I often wonder if this is his way of filling his long empty gas tank of affection? It is almost as if you can see him heal when you spend time holding him. His need for affection has been a gift to me. I lavish affection on all of my children but no one has ever needed me in this way before.

*Besu is growing into his own man. His self esteem & belief in himself is noticeably bigger each day. When I met him last year he felt worthless, unloved and unwanted and he was a follower who kept his head and eyes down. David saw the exact same thing when he flew over to meet the boys & go through court and we were truly worried about our poor Besu. We wondered would we ever be able to build him up, we wondered if we were up for the challenge of fixing such a broken little boy? Since arriving home we have been assuring him over and over that this is it. Here is where he will stay forever and that he is a valued member of our family. We have told him how much he is loved and that it is time to let go of the hurts and build a healthy, happy future. We whisper it to him when he is sad, we assure him of it when he is happy and we say it aloud to all of the kids together all the time so that he sees that love is real here and that each of them is important to us. He gets it now. In 5 short months our boy has literally blossomed in front of our eyes. Learning to stand up for himself has caused some issues, especially since the years of being beaten down came rushing out a bit agressively at first, but he has learned and now he amazes us with his little swagger!

Witnessing this child's transformation has been a gift. I think the raw ugliness of so much pain was hard to bear as a parent, but the blessing of growth and healing has made up for the days of doubt and questioning. Again, let me stress that our life here is no fairy tale. It is full of squabbles, mistakes, dumb decisions (often on my part) and poopy moments, but all-in-all life is settling at Irishopian and it is a life I feel so blessed to be living.