Fitsum - 2 of 2

This is the second of my updates in honor of our fast approaching 6-month-home anniversary. This post is about our Fitsum, or Fitze,(with an 'a' sound at the end) as we tend to call him.




So here's a bit about our boy:

*Fitsum loves red.
*Fitsum loves anything artistic, drawing, playing music, creating things.
*Fitsum likes to take things apart. Electronic things. But he can't put things back together. Yet.
*Fitsum remembers everything you teach him. His brain is amazing.
*Fitsum does not eat much. This worries us.
*Fitsum loves soccer and is a fantastic player.
*Fitsum knows the scores of every game he has played so far this spring season. He knows who got each goal and who was playing what position at the time they scored. Amazing brain, told ya.
*Fitsum is uber competitive. I mean like ridiculous. Everything has to be a competition from Soccer down to finding punch-buggy's as we are driving. We have had a few talks about not getting upset if you don't win every time. So far this soccer season he has been yellow carded twice. Uh oh.
*Fitsum is tender and gentle. He loves babies - truly loves babies. More than most 11year old boys.
*Fitsum loves to be outdoors. He loves the tractor, loves to help with yard work & loves to help David with any outdoor jobs.
*Fitsum loves money. David gave him $5 a couple of weeks ago for helping him clean out a gunky, leaf-filled drain that took hours and was tough work. When David handed him the money, Fitsum couldn't believe it! Now I give him $5 per week to water the plants each day and weed the flower beds. He takes this job very seriously and loves doing it. I think the money probably makes him feel safe. He knows what it is like to live hand to mouth and having a 'cushion' must be comforting.
*Fitsum wants to surf. He loves trying to skim board on the beach and is drawn to water. Maybe someday dude he'll catch that narley wave...
*Fitsum has an air of coolness about him. He just does. You know those kids, no matter what they do they are just cool? That's my boy...



The name Fitsum means Annointed - as in this child has been chosen and is the ultimate blessing. I was told that Fitsum's mother thought he would be her final child and she wanted his name to reflect her joy. I will share too that she knew how very smart he was and wanted him to have chances to make something of himself. He was blessed enough to attend school from the time he was small up til he came home and then started school here. What a special woman to have sacrificed to give him the opportunities she did. I won't share more but, trust me, she gave him so much... what an amazing mother.

Not a lot ruffles Fitsum's feathers, though, lately, we do get glimpses of the pain he is dealing with over the loss of all he knew and held dear. Fitsum's first few months home were easy-breezy. Now I think, in a kind of delayed reaction, it has recently begun to sink in that this is it. This is home, forever. As comforting as that can be to some children it can also be a painful realization. When I ask Fitsum if he misses Ethiopia he will usually say "kind of" & sometimes even "no". I don't believe it. I think it is just his 'whatever' attitude that has kept him protected for 20 months now, from the time he entered the Miskaye orphanage until he arrived here. Up til recently Fitsum didn't want to 'need' us. We had to rush to him in any times of crisis, fights, boo boo's, very rare breakdowns & to help him with homework. So independent for so long he had a very hard time accepting help. Finally Fitsum seems to want our help a bit. He even hugged me recently for no reason and boy, did that feel amazing!

So if you've read both my posts you will obviously have seen how different our boys transitions have been. Both have been tough in totally opposite ways - one outwardly with anger and tantrums. One inwardly, withdrawing into a safe place though keeping a smile on in the hopes of fooling the world. The outward reaction was tough, very tough. Raw anger and grief are ugly and scary. But don't doubt that the inward reaction is scary too. As a mom you wonder if your child will ever truly want you, love you, need you. You worry for him and you fear that the grief is too deep to ever heal. But, heal it does, thankfully. Slowly, v-e-r-y slowly, it heals. So 6 months in our life is not a bed of roses (an never was, I mean who's is?!) but it's fun. It's silly with a LOT of laughing. It's full. It's been mind-blowing to witness.

Building this family by adding these 2, well, actually 3, children from Ethiopia has been the greatest gift ever. Ever.