So things are a bit much right now. Not sure when it all started but in the last week life has slid downhill rapidly. Hurrican Irene is heading straight for my beach cottage. Yep, the one that just underwent a beach replenishment. Money is getting tight with leaks in the house that have caused us to open walls, our Suburban needing to be fixed and it's tires needing to be replaced, high school books needing to be purchsed and everyone needing new shoes, socks and tons of school supplies & the dryer having to be replaced. The kids have been fighting non-stop and the hardest part is I truly don't know what to do for the first time in my career of mom. One of my bio son fights constantly with our new boys & in his mind he has never done anything wrong. He always truly convinces himself that they start it all every time. That being said, the new boys do pick on him and favor anyone over him which I know frustrates him. Bio son has not made things easy for new sons from the day they arrived home so I can't always blame them for the things they do either. I struggle to know who to punish/correct/blame/talk to/etc,. Fitsum hasn't talked to me in 5 days and quite frankly it's now just making me angry! He felt I shouldn't have corrected him when he was fighting with said brother so I guess he's thinking he's going to teach me a lesson. Ugh. (I've got some lessons I would like to teach!)
I am working my tail off (along with a couple of extremely dedicated friends) to put on our 2nd Scavenger Hunt. It will be the first Grow Hope mission trip fundraiser and sadly I picked a really bad weekend... I am hoping and praying for it's success because I know it should be amazing. If people are good enough to come I want it to be amazing and I think it will be. I have spent tons of time working on our the actually hunt - I really want the competition to be fierce - at this point though all I can do is leave it in the hands of the Lord.
I am watching my man work his tail off, flying all over the country most weeks and talking all day on useless conference calls (my opinion not his) and he is tired. My dear friend is extremely sick with cancer and my cousin died the other day completely unexpectedly. It feels like it's all crashing down. It just feels heavy and scary...
But, then I turn on the radio yesterday and hear this song and it helps. It reminds me that God has got this and that He will allow nothing to happen that isn't able to benefit the greater good of mankind. He knows the hairs on my graying head (yep, gotta get that done soon too), he knows the ache in my heart and the needs of my tired, fighting family. So I may be overwhelmed and grumpy and whine but I will try to remind myself to trust the Lord and to be courageous in Him.
3 comments:
Hang in their. Please know that you inspire me n
the best thing i got to offer is that it is exactly times like the one you describe that i truly realize how dependent upon Him i am. when He says 'when you are weak, then I am strong', well... He was right :)
i just spent a few minutes in prayer for you -- the thought that came strongly was to ask your son for some time with him....go to a neutral place and let him talk. even if he says things that aren't right, let him say it. and then ask for his ideas on a workable plan to help get things moving in the right direction. for me, when my oldest son and i are in a funk (he is my bio mini-me), the whole family feels it. we are on our 4th and 5th adoption, and i know that he feels them the most and is impacted the most significantly. anyway, i pray that you two can come together to help him see just how crucial and vital he is to the family's health. this is ridiculously humbling for me when i go to ben and ask for his help :)
will pray again later tonight... much love in Christ.
Praying for you and loving you like a sister from afar.
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