You do the math...

Happy anniversary to us. Today marks our 10th month home. Our 10th month as a family of 10. Our 10th month with even higher mountains of laundry and much higher food bills. Our 10th month of driving 2 cars when we go somewhere together. Our 10th month with 6 sons under one roof.
Having 8 kids has been everything I hoped and prayed it would be. Fun, full, busy, chaotic, tough & truly exhausting. Having 8 kids was my dream and really, how many people get to live out their dream? I honestly don't think many do. Maybe some would think I haven't aimed high enough? I would beg to differ. Raising 8 kids who are healthy mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally is far more important than playing on a professional sports team or winning American Idol.
Now, Ryan Seacrest may not agree with me, but I believe that raising kids and helping them become morally strong adults who are self sufficient, thoughtful and somewhat normal is a testament to anyone who does it. I have learned that there is no one successful way to parent. Parenting is not a one-size-fits-all. There is usually not even a successful one-size-fits-most philosophy either, at least in this household. That is why parenting, done right, is completely and utterly exhausting. You've got to come up with new strategies for every occasion and just because something worked well on one kid does not mean it will work at all on another!
No matter how many kids you parent, you have to get out of bed with your game face on and prayerfully, patiently be ready for breakdowns, anger, hours of shuttling kids places, cooking great dinners they won't touch and enduring hours of putting up with really bad trumpet practicing. Everyday that I do these things with love I see my children grow into happier/healthier human beings. For every meltdown I see growth afterward.
Take our Besu boy for example. He is a boy who loves love now! His past had so much hurt in it. Why would he trust us? He hadn't seen a lot of reasons to trust anyone before in his short life and for a while I truly wondered how we would make it... Now, 10 months home, he is feeling love. He has allowed us in. We whispered to him over and over that this was it and that we were his family forever and his thick, tough exterior has been cracked. We are seeing this vulnerable little boy learn to gauge reactions. He can tell when he has overstepped his boundaries and is even beginning to stop negative behaviors and change them. He doesn't need to protect himself by trying to be funny in an obnoxious way anymore. He gets that being the loudest person in the room doesn't make you the rooms comedian. He also sees that being rude and mean is not humor. He is getting it because he knows that no one here will hurt him or let him down. He knows that he will have food, have clean clothes, be able to play soccer, go to school, get hot showers, brush his teeth. He knows that nothing will take that away from him and most importantly, he knows now what it is like to truly be loved by his forever family. So we are seeing a new Besu. Maybe even a new and improved Besu? I loved him then but I love that it is easier to love him now.
And our Fitsum has begun to trust in another way. He has finally let his guard down and will now let us "in". He has begun to hug and smile a lot more and it his smiles are not empty like they often used to be. This little boy, who grew up too fast on the streets of Addis, has allowed himself to be a kid, our kid, and he finally let's us take care of him. He still doesn't like being told to go to bed or to pick up his room but there is safety in the routine and this in turn helps him to let go and let us parent. It has been like falling in love in reverse actually. I see him looking at me in ways that I haven't seen in years! He sees something special in me that a person falling in love sees... it's a truly special time, watching him begin to love his mom and dad and the final few siblings that he hadn't initially connected with. Besu wanted it all right away but didn't know how to trust what we were offereing was real. Fitsum proceeded in a much more cautious way. He wasn't sure how to deal with us at all and needed to allow us in on his terms.
In 10 months we have all come so far. The emotions spewing out of everyone have been heightened and they bombarded us fast, furiously and often. The adjustment has been well, frankly, an adjustment! But here at 10 months I can tell you that 10 months + 8 kids = 1 pretty happy Irishopian family...