I wasn't sure how to write this post. I mulled it over for a while. Nearly 2 weeks actually. It just bothered me and I couldn't write about anything else until I addressed this ridiculous-ness. Maybe it won't seem like a big deal to you my readers, but to me it has been HUGE! It has been Somewhere-a-village-is-missing-a-true-idiot-and-I-know-where-to-find-her-huge... I know this person didn't mean her question to be insulting, I know her question was asked out of honest ignorance but however, it just made me so mad! It brought home once AGAIN, how people honestly do not see my family as the family we truly are. Some boneheads see us a boarding house. They give me credit for "taking in those kids and raising 'em" but, they don't see my Ethiopian born children as OUR children. It sucks. And, it is hurtful quite frankly. I think my children and ALL ADOPTED CHILDREN, deserve better than that.
Here is the conversation as I remember it:
"So, when Marin and the boys get older, do you think, (and here I am expecting something like, do you think they will want to go back over to Ethiopia? Do you think they will want to find any of their biological family that is still there? I mean, those are reasonable questions right?) do you think they might get married?" So immediately I am thinking well gosh, I hope they get marri- hey, she means married to each other! Ewww! What the heck?! I responded that "eww, no, of course not, that would be absolutely disgusting because they are brothers and sister." TO WHICH SHE REPLIED, "well, not really, right? I mean they aren't really related".... Ugh.
If you think about it, this question is actually wrong on a number of levels. It's not only anti adoptive family, it's also racist! So my black skinned children could only marry the other black skinned children? Duh... I mean, c'mon! It is 2012. We should "get it" by now. We should be doing far better than this, shouldn't we?! The ignorance that exists sometimes does me in... Just when you think you have conquered stupidity and opened the eyes of the narrow minded and the bigoted, proven to the world that you love your children, all of your children, the same way, etc., etc., you are slapped with the reality that there are still idiots out there who will never see you as a "real" family. I have had enough! My children are my children and whatever way they came into my life matters NOT A BIT! I don't care about their color. I don't care that I got some at a later age, they are STILL MINE and I AM STILL THEIR MOTHER.
So, take note. Anyone out there who does not get adoption, it is time you try to wrap your heads around the concept that families are not "traditional" anymore. You must be willing to love them all in all of their glory. Embrace the differences and do your best to realize that adoptive families are only making things better. We with adoptive families are creating a culture that trancends color, racism and hate. Our children, (and yay, there are thousands of us), see everyone as equal, precious, deserving and loveable. I myself believe that is what our God wants of us. He asks us over and over in the Bible to take care of the orphans. He himself "adopted" us. Why should my family, why should ANY family, deserve any less??